People

God doesn't put people in your life that you want, instead he puts people in your life that you need. Some you wont remember and some you will never forget. Some are there to teach you, some to hurt you, some to love you, but they are all there to make you who you are. I have realized that the people that God has taken from me are the ones that I took for granted. As a result, I cherish the ones I still have left and never hesitate to show them how much I love them. As for those that have hurt me, I know that no matter how many guys play me and break my heart, that when I find the right one that I can trust with my heart, that I will never take him for granted. I've always been the second best, the back up plan, and the bff but one day I will be the one and someone will finally choose me. People will deceive you till you cant trust anymore. People will put you down, until you don't want to go on. But then there are those that you are blessed to call friends that will make you laugh when you want to cry. And make you change your mind when you wan to die. Those who will love you despite your faults. And the one who will make it all worth while.

The Room- I Love This Story

The Room – Story about what Jesus does with our Sins

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for one wall covered with small index card files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “People I Have Liked.” I opened it and began flipping cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match.

A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I have Betrayed.”

The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. “Books I Have Read,” “Lies I Have Told,” “Comfort I Have Given,” “Jokes I Have Laughed At.” Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: “Things I’ve Yelled at My Brothers.” Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I Have Done in My Anger,” “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.” I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my short life to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my own signature.

When I came to a file marked “Lustful Thoughts,” I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them! In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards.

But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore “People I Have Shared the Gospel With.” The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than 3 inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?

Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.

“No!” I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was “No, no,” as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.

He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, “It is finished.”

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

Why?

When I mentioned to a friend about Jake going on his mission for 2 years and told him I won't be able to see him or talk on the phone with him for those 2 years. I was ask why would a young man be crazy enough to leave his family for 2 years to go and teach about a religion and why would his family let him go?

This question made me think. I had so many answers to his question that I couldn't think of where to start.

Well here's 5 reasons why...

1. Heavenly Father (who loves him more than his own parents) let him go to earth to live for a lifetime with his family. All He asks is to borrow him back for 2 years of that lifetime, in order to be an instrument in His work and serve Him. They would be selfish not to let him go.

2. He is blessed with the knowledge of the truth. Why would he keep that to himself?

3. If the message he has wasn't true, then why would he go and sacrifice so much for something that was made up; It is worth it.

4. The blessings that him and his family will receive for his 2 year sacrifice, will be enumerable.

5. Because he was called of God to do so.

At times when we are given a calling, or a trial or a warning by God, we ask WHY? Why me? Why now? Why this? Why that?....We must remember that we are never given a trial we cant handle, a calling we can't fulfill, or a warning we won't later need. There is a purpose for all that we are given, all that we do, and all that is taken from us. We are strategically placed in our lives and in our situations for a reason. We may not ever know the answers to our questions: Why we had to suffer? Why they had to die? Why I have to go? or Why this happened to me? in this life, but we will one day know....WHY?

Leaving the Past Behind Me

We all have a past. We've all made mistakes. But why is it so hard to forgive ourselves for the bad choices we've made before. Life's ups and downs come and go, but without them how can we grow? I may not be the girl I used to be because life's trials has taken a tole on me. I've wondered off the path and by God's grace was lead back home. I am far from perfect but by the time I'm through I plan to be better than I ever was before.

"The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future."-Jeffery R Holland

They say no good thing lasts forever, but that's what eternity is for.

Just one of those days

Photo by: Sheryl Seiler

Some days you have to just sit back and realize the beauty around you. There is so much in this beautiful world that we take for granted. We look over so many simple yet marvelous creations. We must learn to be thankful for the little things in life. In a city it is easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of cars and people on the streets in a forest of concrete sky scrappers yet when you step back and look at the big picture, its true beauty is found.

Thoughts

There are times in our lives when we face trials or experience something that makes us grow up. Although we may never realize how much we need these hard times until after we see the end result, they still serve a purpose. Sometimes we have to reach rock bottom and walk on our own for a while in order to have the will to climb our way to the top. Our ability to reach the top was always there within us, yet our perspective of our capability to reach that peek changes when we have nothing to lose. We must experience failure, heart ache, and sorrow in order to fully be grateful for the good times in our lives. We know that we make mistakes to learn from them. So why do we beat ourselves up for making them. Learn to move on, but never forget. If you don't like what you did the first time, do it differently the second time, until you get it right. Life was never meant to be easy. If this life is a test, we must experience it in order to know how to learn how to survive it. Experience pain to learn tolerance. Experience failure to learn endurance. Experience heart break to learn compassion. In doing so, we will not only build strength to endure future trials, but we will be able to help others through these trials as well. Never give up. Never ask why. Never say never.

-Sheryl Lynn Seiler

Friends

Friends are a blessing when good times turn bad.
They are a shoulder to cry on when you are sad.
Someone who will listen when you need to vent.
The one your parents call to ask where you went.

God couldn't be here so he made us a friend.
Now we will stick together till the bitter end.
I love my friends with all my heart,
And I always pray for them when we are apart.
(written: June 2006)

I'm Sorry BFF (written: 1/11/09)

You promised me that you would never leave

You never lied so I still believe

You said you loved me and I broke your heart

I heard you cry as it ripped you apart

I did everything to deny our fate

But now that I love you it's to late

You were my angel sent from God up above

To let me know how it feels to be loved

At night I wait for you to call on the phone

But then I remember that you're not home

I know that you're in a better place

I can't wait for the day I will see your face

For so long I kept my feelings inside

When I said I didn't love you...I lied.

Family

The beat of our hearts are in sync

The blood in our veins is our link

Always there to catch me when i fall

Someone who will love me through it all

When my heart needs mending you make the suture

We have the same past though we rule the future

Our love is eternal and there is no end

Your my brother, my sister, more than a friend

Despite what you are told, it is not impossible to find your way back when you have reached the point of no return...Life is full of second chances, you just have to be humble enough to notice them...and if you are lucky enough to be given a second chance take advantage, life is too short to wait for another...It is hard to not be discouraged when you feel as though you have wondered so far off the path that there is no way you can find your way back...When you feel nothing but shame and can no longer recognize the person in the mirror...When your trials weigh you down to your knees...you are in the perfect position to pray...

Kiss of a Rose

The smell of a rose though it may be sweet

Just like Love can knock you off your feet

Hidden behind the great beauty that it shows

Its thorns can hurt you but no one knows

Not until you are pricked will you feel the pain

Even though it hurts its beauty is the same

You try to reach it and that's when you start to bleed

Though it hurts you still try but you still cant succeed

Just like love is this rose that we want to attain

Will hurt you and make you bleed but we cant abstain.

Original Posted 3/12/2007 5:46 PM

I Play No Games

My heart is not a toy and love is not a game

So stop trying to play me before i put your game to shame

You think you know all about me and that your drama is from me

But i'll have to teach you a lesson if you wont let me be

I'll tell everyone i your secrets that you cant cover up with lies

I'll tell your boys i broke up with you because you're into guys

I'll take back all I gave you and what you gave me is mine

Because when I'm without you i get by just fine

I'm through with all your whining and it is plain to see

That you will never make it now that you're not with me

Original written: November 18, 2006

Stay Up

LIFE CAN BE HARD AND THE ROAD MAY BE LONG,

BUT YOU CAN STILL MAKE IT IF YOU STAY STRONG.

THERES IS NO GIVING UP AND NO TURNING BACK,

IF YOU DONT TRY YOU'LL FAIL AND THATS A FACT.

NO CRYING OR WHINING CAN HELP YOU GET THROUGH IT,

IF YOU STAY STRONG THERE AINT NOTHING TO IT.

HEARTBROKEN AND IN PAIN WITH NOTHING TO LOSE,

YOU THINK YOU GOT IT BAD? GO WATCH THE NEWS.

IF YOU THINK YOURE THE ONLY ONE WITH A TOUGH LIFE,

THERE'S MORE PEOPLE GOING THROUGH PAIN AND STRIFE.

STOP FEELING SORRY FOR URSELF SAYING YOU DONT WANT TO LIVE,

REMEMBER GOD GAVE YOU YOUR LIFE AND HE HAS MORE TO GIVE.

NO REASON TO BE SELFISH AND TRY TO RUN AWAY,

TOMMORROW HOLDS A NEW BEGINING AND A NEW DAY.

SO PLEASE KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND STAND UP TALL,

CUZ IF YOU DONT TRY YOU'LL GAIN NOTHING AT ALL.

original: February 02, 2007 1:37 PM